Humility is simply having an accurate view of yourself. It’s not thinking you’re better than you actually are, and it’s NOT thinking less of yourself.
Imagine you and I are in a basketball tournament with 8 other guys. The 10 of us have 100 shots to take and we’ll be ranked on who makes the most shots. If, at the end of the day, I have made the most baskets, I would be ranked as number one. And let’s say you come in a very respectable third.
It is not humility on my part to say to you and everyone else on the court, “I’m really not the best. I should be ranked around seventh or eighth. Here. Someone else can have first place.” I’ve just PROVEN that I am the best—that I can make more shots than anyone else playing.
How do you think it would make you feel by trying to lower myself in that way? Whenever that’s happened to me in real life, the things going through my mind are, “Stop trying to make me feel better, because it isn’t working.” or “Stop calling attention to yourself.” It NEVER makes the other players feel better because they’re focused on their own experience, not mine.
Instead, humility looks like me kindly, graciously, respectfully accepting whatever award I’ve been given and then taking a few minutes to appreciate and acknowledge the other players. It’s me accepting the fact that, in this game, I am the winner. And I’m allowed to enjoy that. (Getting in their face and trash talking about how I took them down definitely is not humility—nor helpful.)
Humility is having an accurate view of yourself, whether you’re first, or third, or last. Accepting where you’re at NOW means you can use that energy to also acknowledge where other are at as well, giving you more opportunity to be a positive influence in their lives.